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Damon: He's a Gilbert?
Liz Forbes: Elena's uncle. His name's John, but I call him jackass.

Jeremy: Why does she hate you?
Uncle John: We used to sleep together.

Elena: Oh, good, you're here.
Damon: You ask, I come. I'm easy like that.
Elena tecknar åt Damon att vara tyst.
Damon (högljutt): No, Elena, I will not go to your bedroom with you.

Damon: It is what it is, Elena. The Stefan you know was good behaviour-Stefan. Rein it in-Stefan, fight against his nature to an annoyingly obsessive level...-Stefan. But if you think there's not another part to this, then you have not been paying attention.

Elena: The Gilberts aren't crazy.
Jeremy: Easy for you to say, you're not one.
Elena: Ouch.

Stefan: I really liked you a whole lot better when you hated everybody.
Damon: Oh, I still do. I just love that they love me.

Damon: Have I entered an alternate universe where Stefan is fun?

Stefan: Please dance with your alcoholic vampire boyfriend.

Damon: Do you wanna hear the bad news or the really bad news?
Stefan: Actually I don't want any news, Damon.
Damon: Alright, let me rephrase. Do you wanna hear how the council's back in vampire-mode, or, how I just killed uncle John Gilbert?
Stefan: What?
Damon: Great party, by the way, huh?

Alaric: Do you think John knew Isabel?
Damon: I think John knows a lot of things.

Damon: We have a problem Stefan. And when I say problem, I mean global crisis.

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